Right
before I started writing this piece I had a whole thing written up
about how I feel that the breastfeeding rates in the United States is
directly tied to our cultural attitude towards breastfeeding in
general. While I haven’t changed my opinion I have been moved to try a
different approach.
Recently there have been discussions with people from both sides of the
debate weighing in on the discussion regarding women nursing their
infants in public places. The discussion seems to loom around whether or
not a woman should have the right to feed her child and whether or not
that same woman should be required to “cover up.” The discussions on
both sides have been bandied about and I will admit that I am on the “do
what makes mom and baby comfortable” side, while making sure mom is
aware of traps that could hurt her breastfeeding relationship (i.e. flow
preference and reduced supply from nursing off of bottles rather than
mom’s breast). Instead I want to share what my day would be like if I
didn’t nurse in public and instead either attempted to feed her a pumped
bottle, left what I was doing to nurse my child, or tried to use a
cover.
Feeding Pumped Milk:
If I were to try feeding my daughter pumped milk from a bottle I would
have to add an extra 20 minutes to my already busy schedule in order to
pump for the outing. This is not including washing and sanitizing any
parts or putting together the diaper bag. When I pump I am stuck to one
place for that 20 minutes. Not only that, but I pump the average amount
which can range from .5oz from both breasts to about 2oz. If I’m going
to be gone for 4 hours or less I can get away with 2oz; if longer that
just won’t cut it. If I can only get .5oz then my baby doesn’t get all
the milk that she needs and next time I will have to spend 20 minutes
four times for a total of an hour and twenty minutes pumping for a
bottle. After getting everything together, putting her in the car, and
arriving at our destination we walk around the shops like other young
families. When the baby gets hungry I then have to find the bottle of
expressed milk in the diaper bag and leave where I am at to find some
place that can warm it for me to the proper temperature. Then, I have to
hope that my daughter, who refuses bottles accepts it. By this time she
is screaming and tears are rolling down her eyes because she’s hungry
and doesn’t understand why this strange object is being pushed into her
mouth. The stuff coming out of it tastes familiar, but she needs the
closeness of her mother and it’s coming out of the bottle too fast for
her. I am getting upset because I’m trying to help her and she’s getting
to the point of hyperventilation with her cries. Hubby and I decide
that it’s time to just go. We leave what we are doing and don’t get the
items that we need because the baby’s cries have caused so much stress
in my husband and I; not to mention how my daughter feels. If my
daughter does happen to take the bottle while my breasts fill with milk I
am telling my body to slow down production unless either baby nurses
and removes that milk or I pump. That latter would involve me leaving
what I am doing to go out to a hot car in Southern California to pump.
The whole outing has been stressful. I am not willing to put my baby and
my husband in that position because it makes an adult more comfortable.
You Can Take Her to the Bathroom/Changing Room/Your Car/Nursing Room/Other Place:
In
order to do this I have to lug everything I have bought with me to an
extra place and put back the things that I haven’t paid for, go out of
my way to find that room or get to my vehicle. If sitting in my vehicle
it may be hot out. By the time I get to that location my child is
screaming and in tears. I’m not willing to feed her in a bathroom no
matter how close it is. As for the nursing rooms, while they may be
necessary and wanted by some moms and I appreciate that they’re there,
for the time being it’s just another hassle for me to get to them. I’d
much rather continue my shopping trip and feed my baby, then worry about
offending someone. The way I see it I’ll always offend someone for
something. I have to worry about my child. That is all.
You Can Use a Cover:
I tried the cover before. It is awkward and would involve carrying
something else and at feeding time I would have to look through the
diaper bag, take it out, try to figure out what I’m doing while my
daughter cries and pulls at it, then walk around with a big sign on me
that says that I’m breastfeeding, rather than simply pulling one shirt
up while the other stays down. Although some women feel more comfortable
with a cover and they have every right to, I feel it doesn’t work for
me or my baby.
The Children Might See:
I feel that there is nothing wrong with children seeing breastfeeding.
The lack of women nursing in public and children growing up to not see
different women with differing bodies breastfeed may contribute to our
cultural attitude regarding infant feeding practices. Nursing in public
is positive. And in any case most kids don’t even notice and when they
do the explanation of “some mommies feed their babies with their breasts
and some with a bottle” is sufficient.
These
are my reasons for nursing in public. My primary goal is to feed my
child in a way that is the least time consuming and stressful as
possible. If someone happens to see my nipple or areola at any point
during the feeding experience, that is alright by me. By doing this I am
also helping to normalize breastfeeding, and if another mother is moved
to breastfeed or continue breastfeeding that is even better.
